Submitted by tony on March 7, 2008 - 9:24pm.
Despite the fact that the rest of the world does not reflect it,
manners still matter. Teaching your child to be polite is an important part of
raising a decent, responsible, productive member of society. The younger they
are when you start working with them on their manners and teaching them the
importance of being kind to others, the more they will absorb and learn. After
all, the last thing you want is for them to learn how [not] to be polite from
Simon on American Idol. Here are some tips on how to teach your child to be
polite:
- Respect is top of
the list. This is not just an Aretha Franklin song you wife hums when she's
mad at you. It is an important part of childhood development and learning to be
polite. Start by teaching your children to respect not only the adults around
them, but also their peers and themselves. Rules such as never raising your
voice to an adult, addressing elders by proper and/or formal terms such as
"Yes, ma'am" or "Hello, Mr. Smith" may seem like a throwback to the past, but
still reflect good manners in children.
- Emphasize "age appropriate"
manners: For example, start by simply teaching your younger
children to say please and thank you. For slightly older children, explain the
important of addressing older people properly or sitting with correct posture
or saying excuse me when leaving a group of people. Teaching them
manners at the right age and reinforcing them
through their childhood is one of the most effective ways to teach your child
to be polite.
- Lead by example
and use positive reinforcement regularly: If your
children see you being polite often, they will often mimic your behavior.
Careful though, this can go both ways; meaning, if they see you cursing out the
person in front of you in traffic, they are likely to mimic that as well. In
addition, if you compliment them on their good manners often, their innate
desire to please you will kick in and they will continue to repeat their good
behaviors.
- Role-play: This is a unique way to reach
small children how to act in various situations. You play the part of another
adult, a random child, someone on the other end of the phone, etc. and work
with him or her on the right thing to say in different scenarios. Not only is
this a fun activity for you and your child, but it will help them to be
prepared to be polite in a variety of different situations.
- Provide them with resources: There are a lot of great books and guides on being polite
available for children of all ages. Give them bright, colorful books with their
favorite characters. Point out spots during their favorite movies or television
shows where characters are being polite and exhibiting good manners. Seeing
politeness in action will help them to notice these good traits for themselves.
- Put a punishment/reward system
into play: Just as you likely will not get a chance to hold
poker night at your place if you did not mow the lawn, your kids should not be
rewarded for bad manners either. A sticker system actually works best here. If
they were polite when they should be or had a display of exemplary good
manners, reward them with a stick. If they were rude at some point during the
day, take one away. After they've received a certain number of stickers, take
them out to eat at their favorite place or let them choose a small toy or book.
Children easily identify with rewards, so this is a good way to keep their behavior
in check.
It is a common misconception that young children can't be taught
to be polite. Using the right combination of tactics that apply to their
specific age group, children of any age can be taught to be polite and display
good manners. It just takes a great deal of patience and commitment your part.
Just follow the above tips to get the job done and you will have a polite child
in no time!
