Send to Friend

We must face a sad truth: now that MacGyver is off the air, our children will never know how to make a defibrillator out of candlestick holders, a floor mat, and an electrical power cord. Dads, without MacGyver, we must carry the torch. It is up to us to teach our children one of the most important life skills, resourcefulness.

Resourcefulness is the ability to meet a challenge, and then figure out a solution with the resources available. Researchers have found that it requires the mastery of four key skills: (1) controlling emotions under stress; (2) problem-solving; (3) delaying immediate gratification for long-term gain; and (4) believing in one's own ability to handle challenges. Studies show that it plays a bigger role in our success than we might have ever imagined: resourcefulness is a key factor in the success of high-achievers; it decreases the rate at which students drop out of challenging situations; it reduces adolescents' anxiety, stress, and depression; it increases life satisfaction; and it even reduces the effects of physical pain. Luckily, studies also show that resourcefulness can be taught, even late in life. So if you want a happy, satisfied child, who can make a gas mask out of a Dr. Pepper can and a cantaloupe rind, you should work on your kid's resourcefulness. Here's how:

1. Challenge and encourage your children. Your daughter is struggling to tie her shoes, but you know she can do it. Psychologists recommend that you do not jump in immediately to help. If she struggles with a task but then completes it, she develops self-confidence and problem-solving skills. So give her some time and encourage her: "I think you know how to do this. Let's start from the beginning and try again." When she succeeds, help her celebrate the accomplishment: "Great job! I knew you could do it."
   
   
2. Teach resources, not answers. Your son asks, "Dad, what was the Cold War?" Your first reaction would no doubt be, "Well, son, to answer that question let me first tell you a little about Structural Realism and the international power composition after World War II . . ." But while this would be an opportunity for exciting father-son bonding, you might benefit your son more by showing him the wellspring of all knowledge -- Wikipedia. Showing your kids how to use resources rather than simply giving answers will teach them to teach themselves.
   
   
3. Manage by objectives. If you want your kids to accomplish something, tell them the goal and let them find ways to solve it. Let's say you really want your son to be ready to leave for school at 7 A.M. Your son figures out that if he showers and picks out his clothes before he goes to sleep, he can wake up at 6:52 A.M. and make it out the door on time. He has found a creative way to sleep in later and should be congratulated. Don't micromanage the details as long as he is meeting your objective of an on-time departure.
   
   
4. Teach your kids to make decisions. Psychologists believe that decision-making teaches analytical skills and increases self-confidence, so help your kids learn the process to make good choices. Clearly, the decisions you allow your child to make depend on age, but even a toddler can decide which shoes she wears or what bedtime book you read. Give your kids the opportunity to make decisions, talk about the costs and benefits of each option, and show that there are sometimes creative, non-obvious solutions.
   
   
5. Encourage taking responsibility for results. Resourceful people are more likely to think they can influence outcomes while non-resourceful people more often think that outcomes are due to chance. In truth, life is part luck and part skill, but you should still teach your kids that they can minimize the effects of bad luck by maximizing skill and hard work. If your daughter is mad about an unfair question on an exam, try to refocus her energy on how she might better prepare for that teacher's next exam even if it also contains unfair questions.
   
   
6. Give your kids money. Seriously. One of the best ways to teach resourcefulness and, specifically, delay of gratification is to let your kids learn to manage money. Your son will learn that if he blows his allowance on 10 packs of baseball cards today, he won't be able to afford World of Warcraft IX: Return of the Blood Elves, when it comes out in 4 weeks. But further, if he really wants his baseball cards and his video game, he may find creative ways to get both. He might start a lemonade stand, babysit, or agree to sew Nike labels onto basketball shoes 22 hours a day. Encourage his resourcefulness. He will learn the advantages of long-term planning and develop self-confidence by successfully meeting this challenge.

Resourcefulness is more than an important set of skills, it's a mindset. There isn't much a kid won't eventually be able to tackle. But they can only learn to solve problems if there are problems available to be solved. Give them the tools, the support, and the freedom to learn and make mistakes, and they will surprise you - and themselves - with their ability to make decisions and find solutions on their own.