Submitted by tony on March 23, 2008 - 3:39pm.
Going off to college is a big step in the
life of a teenager. It's also a once-in-a-lifetime moment of pride - and fear
- for a father. A dad watching his son go off to college remembers his own
glory days: his first moments of independence, his first college girlfriend,
his first party, his first influential teacher, his first intellectual wake-up
call. College was a time when youth transitioned into adulthood, when immature
conceits gave way to wisdom and experience. Now your boy (or girl) is about to
take that step, too. Your kids aren't kids anymore.
Before they move into the dorms, though,
they have a tough choice ahead of them: which
college do they choose? A lot of factors
go into picking the right school, and your alma mater should be the least
important of the bunch. Just because a school was right for you doesn't make it
right for your kids, and continuing a tradition of school spirit is a horrible
reason to pick a college. Your kid's college choice should be based on what he
wants for his future, not what you want for him. Remember that although you're
helping, this should be his choice.
Get the process started early, but don't
overburden your teenager with too much responsibility. Although this is an
important decision, they have a whole world of adulthood ahead of them to be
responsible. Let them be young as much as you can, and don't make this decision
seem like the fate of the world is riding on it. They don't need that kind of
pressure, and it's not really that big of a deal. Colleges can be changed;
credits transfer.
Ideally, they should begin thinking about
what they want to do with their future as early as freshman year, but they
shouldn't really have to start making the actual decisions until around their
junior year. This gives them about two years to get through the following steps
for picking a college or university that will be a good fit for them.
- Choose a major - Although
this is the chance for your teenager to do what he loves to do, remind him to
be realistic. He might love swimming and scuba diving, that doesn't mean he's
cut out to be a marine biologist. Have him assess his skills realistically
without considering his ultimate dreams. Is he math-smart or word-smart? Does
he love the experimental aspect of science, or would he rather read a history
book all day? If his ultimate dream falls in line with his actual skills, so
much the better. But if he dreams of being a rock star but is better at
crunching numbers than playing guitar, he should probably consider a career in
math. Choosing a real-world career doesn't mean an end to your dreams. There's
nothing wrong with having a Plan B.If he's having trouble
choosing a major, this
article from QuintCareers.com may help him narrow his choices. Also,
remember that being an "undecided" student is a perfectly healthy approach to
college. A student can spend at least two years simply getting core
requirements out of the way, giving him lots of time to find something that
strikes his fancy.
- Decide distance requirements
- You may want to have a say in this decision, as well. How far away are you
comfortable with? How far away is he or she willing to go? If distance is no
option, then the best colleges in America are open to him. If, on the
other hand, you'd like to keep him within driving distance, then your choices
are much more limited. Although this makes the process much easier, make sure
your son is going to be okay with going to a less prestigious school.
- Choose a
group of colleges - Once you have your
radius set, you need to decided on a group of colleges that he's interested in.
These decisions should be based on what he plans on studying. If he's
interested in English or writing, a liberal arts college is probably the best
bet. If he wants to study in the sciences, though, he'll want a more academic
or research university. CollegeBound.net
is a great resource for determining what colleges to which your kids should
apply, based on any number of factors.
- Visit the campuses - You can never truly get a sense of a college without visiting its campus
and touring the grounds. This is a perfect time to talk with other students
about what the college is like - things like whether the classes are packed,
how approachable the professors are and how hectic admissions week gets. It's
also a good time to visit the department of your son's major. Chat with some of
the professors, and find out how intensive the curriculum is.
- Send in your applications -
This process usually start sometime early in your teen's senior year. All
colleges have different review criteria and processes, and some take longer
than others. The
application will likely include a lot of extra material, like work samples,
so gather these ahead of time. Make sure you look over the school's
requirements for admission and confirm that your teen is eligible.
Getting into a college is tough work, but it
doesn't have to be stressful. Not getting accepted during the first round of
picks isn't the end of the world. Your teen has a lot of years ahead of him,
and working for a year while reapplying will give him some much-needed
experience. Just keep them on track, and enjoy this time you have with your
teens - they'll be gone before you know it.