How to Deal with Competitive/Comparing Parents

If you know other parents of young children, you also know how must of a genius their children are. They've likely bragged about how their toddler can read a Dickens novel or they've talked about how their kid is the reincarnation of Beethoven. Unfortunately, though, some parents take this a step further and compare how their kids are so much better than others. It's one thing to brag about your kids, but putting others down in the process is simply rude and unacceptable. Luckily, there are some things you can do to counter this before stooping to their level or punching them in the face.

1. Confront them. The next time one of these annoying parents compares how much better their kid is than yours, be honest with them. Tell the parent that you are proud of your child's accomplishments and you're not interested in having a competition with them. Many parents will realize how foolish they've been sounding and possibly change their competitive attitude.
   
   
2. Turn the tables. Even though it's not a competition, sometimes we feel better by "winning." Whenever an overeager parent compares your children, make a comparison right back. Point out things that your child is doing that their child hasn't done yet. Yes, it's a little bit immature, but it feels so darn good.
   
   
3. Demonstrate their absurdity. Okay, their child learned to walk at an early age and they've already received a full scholarship to Oxford University. But that doesn't compare to your child being the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize and creating the diet pill that actually works while you sleep. By making a few absurd points of your own, the other parents will get the hint and hopefully realize how stupid they sound themselves.
   
   
4. Ignore it. Yes, this sounds much easier than it actually is. But parents, especially first-time parents, are excited about life and their new child. If you can stand it, allow them to boast and brag until their heart's content. Remember, you may have done your share of bragging to them when your first child was born.
   
   
5. Have a mature discussion. Nothing can ruin a friendship faster than talking about how much better one child is than the other. If you can sense this happening in your relationship, simply have a talk with the offending parent before it goes too far. When you both realize what is happening, you can keep a closer reign on your tongue.
   
   
6. Be honest with yourself. Do some honest and brutal self-reflection to see if you are one of these parents. You've probably heard the joke about how there is always one annoying person in a group of friends. And if you don't know who that person is in your group, then you're probably that person. The same applies here. If you don't know any super-competitive parents, maybe that's because you're the one that's competitive. Here are some questions to ask yourself make an honest evaluation about your parenting nature.

• Are the events and milestones in your child's life more important than the child? Do you concentrate on what they can't do yet instead of what they can do?
• Is your child often afraid of trying new things because they are afraid of being embarrassed? Do you use their inabilities as a source of embarrassment or as a teaching moment in which you can help build their self-esteem up?
• Do you pretend to be the professional or the parent? Do you try to do the jobs of your child's teachers and coaches or do you simply play the role of a caring parent that focuses on the important aspects of life?
• What is more important for you - the negative consequences of what your child does or the positive benefits? Do you force your child to do things that they are uncomfortable doing just so you can brag about them? Or do you prefer to let them do things they enjoy and simply have fun with them?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of your child's accomplishments. In fact, it's great to be proud of what they do. But problems arise when parents make other parents feel bad because their child hasn't done certain things. It's always best to remember that every child develops differently and at different rates. Being childish about it is simply unacceptable whether you're on the giving or receiving end of it.