How to decide when to have another baby

They say raising children is like making pancakes. You overcook the first one, undercook the second one, and the third one comes out just right. You've already been through it once or more. Yet, in spite of it all, you find yourself with a bug in your ear that's whispering in a teeny, tiny little voice, "Let's have another baby." Are you crazy?

Maybe not. Steve Martin had a whole lot fun in "Cheaper By the Dozen." And what could be better than two, three, or even more daughters doting on you in your old age? Think warm fuzzy sweaters and boxes of chocolates. ‘But is now the right time?' you ask yourself. Good question.

The answer is... it depends. The decision to have children is like the decision to get married or the decision to buy a house. It's hard to tell when the right time is. And if you surf the net you'll find there are a few common considerations before you take the plunge again. For example:

1. Decide together with your partner. Regardless of what Aunt Millie wants for you and your family, what does your partner want? Does she want another baby? Why? You might have to ask some hard questions. Better now than say, 9 months from now.
   
   
2. Do a quick financial check-up. Babycenter.com reports that it costs about $10,000 a year to feed, clothe, and house a child. Have you got that kind of scratch in your bank account? Bankrate.com offers an online calculator that will let you customize the figures for your own situation. Gut check: the calculator includes a frighteningly long list of expenses. Just be brave and plan it out. Don't let those calculators scare you, but also don't blow it off either.
   
   Homer Simpson had a money-conscious idea when he decided to let baby Maggie go without a diaper, "the way nature intended." In the live-action world, that's not a viable solution. Sure, you can cut corners here and there. The custom-made bassinet with designer sheets you bought for the first baby and used for all of three months? It can be used again. And hand-me-downs are perfectly shabby chic, at least until your little Tarzan realizes he's wearing older sister Jane's pajamas.
   
   
3. Review your health insurance. Check to see if there have been any changes in your coverage since your last baby was born. If you're barely skimming by with your current health coverage, remember that all 50 states offer a form of federally subsidized health insurance for children. Adding another body to your brood and you just might qualify for it.
   
   
4. Consider the baby's health. The average span between American children is 30 months, which falls right in line with medical research from UCSF that shows the best time to conceive is 24-35 months after the previous child. Or it could be 18-24 months, if you want to believe the New England Journal of Medicine. One thing is more certain: waiting less than 18 months between the birth of the last one and conception of the next one can lead to an increased chance of low birth weight and premature birth, according to research reported by WebMD.
   
   
5. Consider mom's health, too. More4Kids.info has a listing of health considerations to think about for the mom-to-be. One of the first steps should be a thorough check-up. Health problems, especially chronic illnesses like diabetes, need to be addressed before the new pregnancy commences.
   
   
6. Oh, right, and remember your other kids. Your toddler might not be used to competing for your time and hugs, so keep in mind that they'll have to learn to adjust as well. The pediatricians at the Princeton Medical Center have lots of great ideas for helping older siblings adapt to your (and their) new bundle of joy.

But in the end, what are the rules? If you've read this far you're already a parent. And you know how important that is to you and your wife. Your heart melts just thinking about the little hand that reaches up to hold yours when you least expect it. Remember all the firsts you had? The first time you held her and looked into her eyes-and she looked back. The first time he skinned his knee and ran to you. The first day of school. The first soccer game, or the first trip to the zoo. You can have all those first again, you know. Maybe it's time to listen to that teeny, tiny bug in your ear. And remember sometimes all the planning in the world is trumped by Mother Nature, as you say to you wife, "You're.... what? Again?" and jump up and down with glee (or terror).