How to Explain Things to Your Child in Ways They Understand

Have you ever tried to explain something to your kids using language that they are simply too young to understand? Or, worse yet, using language with your teenager that is more appropriate for a toddler? Either way can be a waste of your time and your child's time. Telling your four-year-old toddler to clean his room because a messy room is a socially unacceptable behavior and girls don't like men who keep messy rooms won't do a bit of good. And trying to explain sex to your 14-year-old by using the "birds and bees" will only make them laugh at you even more than teenagers typically do. Consider these suggestions to ensure that your conversations with your children are always age-appropriate and effective so you can enjoy better communication with them.

1. Think like a child - For some of us, this isn't very difficult. Women always say we think like children anyways, so it might not be much of a stretch. But when you're trying to explain something in an age-appropriate way, try to put yourself in your son's or daughter's situation to find the best language to use. The best way to do this is to listen to how they speak and then use many of the same words they use.
   
   
2. Let them ask the questions - By allowing them to lead the conversation, you might "luck out" and get a bunch of "yes or no" questions. That relieves the pressure on you to think of the words you should use. It also gives you an idea of how mature your child is and the types of things they have already learned. This can help you find the best words to use when explaining other things to them in the near future.
   
   
3. Use school situations - School is such a huge part of a child's life. As a result, they can readily relate to the situations they face. When trying to explain something to your children, try to use recent school experiences or hypothetical school situations to help them understand what you're trying to say. You can also use their playtime or the cartoons they watch if they're too young for school.
   
   
4. Simplicity works - Don't make things too difficult for them to understand. For instance, if you're trying to explain birth to a toddler, you don't need to explain the intricacies of the birth canal and the umbilical cord. Keep the process as simple as possible or else they just won't understand.
   
   
5. Read what they're reading - Take an interest in your child's hobbies and interests. For instance, what type of books do they enjoy reading? What type of TV shows do they watch? Get a feel for their language by looking at their surroundings. If you do this enough, using age-appropriate language will eventually become second nature to you.
   
   
6. Enlist some help - An ideal person to ask about age-appropriate language is your child's teacher. They deal with children all day and they have to know how to communicate effectively with them. They've probably even heard some of the slang and lingo that the kids your child's age tend to use when they're with each other. Ask the teacher for suggestions. They'll be more than happy to help you out.
   
   
7. Find a video to do the trick - While it's not best to let videos and TV teach your children all the time, sometimes they can be very handy. This is especially true when you're at a loss or when you're stuck. You might be surprised about the wide range of videos that are out there. You can probably find one relevant to almost any situation and relating to any age group. Do you want to explain racism to your toddler? There's likely a video out there that will do just that in an age-appropriate and sensitive way. From sharing to learning about puberty and everything in between, there's likely some material that can be a lot of help.

Sometimes it's not easy to talk to your children because of the generation gap. This gap can also lead to a language barrier that can prevent you from communicating effectively with your child. Remember, there's no shame in asking for help or finding other materials that can make the job easier. It's better than not communicating with your young children at all.