How to Talk to Your Teen about Their First Date

As a dad, you're biased when it comes to your kids' first dates. When your boy goes out, he's undertaking a rite of passage, winning over his first girl and doing his old man proud -- just like you did. When your girl goes out, though, she's running off into the world with some grungy, shifty punk you can't trust, and what's she going to do when Dad's not there to protect her?

It's an emotional time for a dad, no matter which kid is going out for the first time. It's one of the first blatant signs that your kids are starting to grow up. They're still kids, though, and as such they still need your guidance and support. As they grow, your job is to teach them how to act in the social settings they come in contact with, how to be respectable people no matter where they are. This is their first time courting the opposite sex, and while they may not want specific advice from you, you've still got to show them the basics. When you talk to your preteen about his or her first date, here's everything you'll need to remember:

1. Don't get too personal - The last thing your kid wants is you giving him or her tips on how kiss. Although you need to teach them a few things, there are also some things that are best left up to experience. They'll figure the intimate stuff out on their own, and there's not really much you can do about that. Although you can't regulate it, you probably shouldn't bother trying to advise it, either.
   
   
2. Teach your son how to be a gentleman - Your boy is going to need a few pointers. There are some very specific things that he needs to do on his first date, and if you don't point them out he's bound to stumble all over himself and look like a fool. Teach him to open all doors for his date, regardless of where they are. Teach him, as well, to pull out her chair at dinner, to pay for all aspects of the date, to offer his coat in the event of cold weather, and to be as un-boylike as possible. To that end:
   
   
3. Make sure he avoids his friends - A sure way to ruin your boys first date? Have him arrange the date around an event that his friends are sure to attend. Boys can't help but be boys, but they are acutely at risk of being boys when their peers are around. If your son mentions that his first date is going to be around his friends, gently discourage him. Instead, have him plan a date where he and his girlfriend can be away from anyone they know. This goes for girls, as well.
   
   
4. Talk about responsibilities - Your kids are getting their first taste of freedom with this date, and with it comes a set of responsibilities. Make sure they know what you expect of them - that they are courteous and respectful, not only to their dates but also to the people they encounter; that they practice safety by buckling their seat belts, not talking to strangers, and going only to agreed-upon meeting places; and that they come home on time, every time. If they break these rules, they no longer have the privilege of going out.

You don't have to be a worrisome parent. Talk to your preteens about what is expected of them, and while you're at it give them a few pointers on how to handle a sticky situation. Hopefully the date will go over well, and when their key hits the lock you can pretend to be asleep - but with a smile on your face.