How to Help Your Toddler to Share

It's not easy to share. Even as adults, we don't like to let other people use our stuff because they might put a scratch in it or mess it up somehow. It seems like the older we get, the more of a "mine" mentality we have. But toddlers are continuously in situations where they need to share with others in order to be a productive participant in their surroundings - classrooms, play dates, playgrounds, etc. Without sharing, massive fights erupt between angry toddlers. To avoid this with your child, take these tips and suggestions so your toddler is more open to sharing with others.

1. It takes a sharer to make a sharer - In order to teach your toddler to share, you have to share as well. Children learn many of their social skills by watching the dads. Be an example by sharing with others, especially when your toddlers are watching. You can reinforce the behavior by playing with them and sharing their toys. Take turns with the toys and have them repeat the word "share" as you pass the toys back and forth. All of this might go down the drain, however, if your child has older siblings. Try to get them to share around your toddler, too.
   
   
2. Teach sharing words - Repeating things like "take turns" and "may I" instills a sense of sharing in your child. By teaching them these types of words, they'll begin to use them when they are playing with others.
   
   
3. Think like a child - It's not in a toddler's natural behavior to share their things. They don't usually have a sense of what happens in a few minutes, they only see what's happening now. When another toddler is playing with their toy, they don't understand that they can play with it afterwards. That's why it seems so hard to teach a toddler to share. Instead of getting mad, try to take this into consideration and be understanding towards your toddler. That's a more productive attitude than punishing them.
   
   
4. Patience, patience, patience - When dealing with toddlers, patience is the most important virtue you can possess. But they can really test your patience when it comes to teaching them how to share. If you can keep up the good fight, though, they will eventually learn the concept and it will become second nature to them. Just don't give up or get frustrated.
   
   
5. Use positive reinforcement positively - Toddlers respond much better to positive reinforcement than negative reinforcement. This simply means that you praise them or reward them when they do something good instead of just punishing them when they do something bad. Young children crave attention and, much like radical political leaders, they'll get it "by any means necessary." Be sure to give them attention when they do something good or else they'll definitely get your attention by doing something bad. In fact, punishing them for not sharing may even reinforce the negative behavior, so be careful about that.
   
   
6. Loved children tend to share more - Much like positive reinforcement, giving your child attention often leads to more sharing. The more loved they feel, the more likely they are to share with others. Children who have issues about not feeling loved tend to feel more insecure and hold on to inanimate things that they enjoy.
   
   
7. Teach reciprocation - How many times have you complained about doing things for others without receiving reciprocation? Toddlers are the same way with their toys. One good way to teach your toddler to share is to tell them that others won't share their toys with kids who refuse to share. When your toddler sees that the other kids have better toys, they'll be more than happy to share just so they can get their hands on more toys.
   
   
8. Allow a tad bit of greediness - We all have things we don't want others to touch. Your mom has her good china that she only brings every fourth Thanksgiving. You might have a Mickey Mantle signed baseball that nobody can ever touch. Allow your toddler to hide a few of their favorite toys when they have friends over. It's okay to be greedy with a couple things as long as they're willing to share everything else.
   
   
9. Find sharing videos - Some toddlers learn a great deal from watching videos. Learning to share is no different. The Care Bears are known for their sharing. In fact, there is even one bear named Share Bear. Other shows that promote these types of behavior are Sesame Street, Barney and others. Don't be afraid to let the video take over when your toddler won't listen to you.

Sharing is a part of growing up. As adults, we might even have an ulterior motive for sharing our things. We might be setting someone up to do a favor for us or we might even share to get a pretty girl's attention. But teaching toddlers to share as a way of life is essential to their development and social skills. If you can't drill it into their brain as a toddler, though, don't worry. Most children outgrow it when they can see the benefits they'll reap as a result of sharing.