How to Talk to Your Child about Cultural Differences

Culture and race can always be a touchy issue to talk about. Whether you're trying to talk to other adults about it or having a discussion with your children, it's important to choose your words carefully and think about what you're going to say. Fortunately, children are more receptive to the issue because they typically don't have the prejudices and stereotypes that many adults do. But that doesn't make the discussion any easier. Consider these suggestions and tips to talk to your child about race and racism so you can give them a healthy perspective that they'll carry with them as they grow older.

1. Be an example. Your child learns much of what they know simply by watching you. If you want to teach your child how to treat those who are different from them, you have to do the same thing in your daily life. That means no racist jokes, treating everybody equally and, most importantly, no racial slurs when referring to others.
   
   
2. Approach the topic carefully. The only preconceived notions that children have about other races is the ones they've learned from their parents or other close family members. That's why it's important to be careful when talking to your child about racism. You want to be sure that you're teaching your child about treating equally, but you also have to mean it yourself.
   
   
3. Wait for teaching moments. If your child attends public or private school, they will undoubtedly encounter kids from other races, ethnicities and backgrounds. And some children are so innocent, they might ask about the different colors or features of the kids they encounter. One mom relates the story of her kindergartner asking about another little boy's "broken eyes." When the mom saw what she was talking about, she realized it was an Asian boy with eyes that did not open as wide as hers. Incidents like these are teaching moments and give you a chance to explain the differences among people in a way your child can understand.
   
   
4. Allow them to ask questions. The mind of a child is so inquisitive. They will likely want to learn more about different races after just a brief discussion. Be prepared to answer these questions with racially-sensitive answers. That means that you use logical answers rather than answers based on half truths or complete fallacies.
   
   
5. Take your child to events that celebrate different cultures. Cinco de Mayo is a great festival that happens in May celebrating the Mexican culture and its history. December is also a great time to explore other cultures and races with the many events happening during that month, including Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and several others. When your child can learn more about different cultures in this way, they will have a new appreciation even if they don't understand them.
   
   
6. Talk about current events that involve race and ethnicity. You probably can't do this with your two-year-old child, but it's an essential part of helping them understand if they are older children. For instance, 9/11 was a time of great heartache for the nation. Fortunately, though, many parents were able to teach their children to separate the few people involved with the terrible event from the entire race. Explain how there are people of all races that try to hurt people, but that doesn't mean that an entire race thinks or acts in the same way.
   
   
7. Allow your children to play with other races. As an adult, you might be surprised how children rarely (if ever) even notice another child's skin color. But if you make a big fuss about it, they might think about it more and think something is wrong with the other child simply because he looks different.
   
   
8. Prepare them for stupidity in the world. Your child will undoubtedly encounter some racial jokes or taunting at their expense sometime in their life. But the secret to dealing with it successfully is to prepare them for it beforehand. Explain to them that people can be cruel and mean. Tell them that people like to make jokes about others in order to make themselves feel better. Let them know that it's not normal for people to tease others like that and those people are simply jealous or ignorant about race. It might not make your child feel better when somebody taunts them, but these thoughts will cross their mind and they might be able to "let it go" more effectively.

With the number of race issues in our country over the last few decades, helping your child form a healthy perspective is essential for productive growth. But since it's such a sensitive issue, it's possible to cause more harm than good if you don't discuss it correctly and on their level. Before you decide to have this discussion, make sure you're prepared yourself and that you don't let any of your own prejudices or stereotypical feelings show through. Your child is more perceptive than you think.