Raising Kids of Strong Character: Generosity

Martin Luther King, Jesus Christ, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela. These are some of our greatest heroes-not because they are smart, powerful, successful, interesting, or funny-but because they embody selflessness and generosity. Our society values generosity over all other traits, and, as parents, it should be one of our greatest goals. Can we teach certain lessons that ensure our kids will have a profound impact on world hunger? Of course not. But without a doubt we can work with our kids to develop a sense of generosity and kindness that will help them feel good about themselves, have fulfilling interpersonal relationships, and improve the communities in which they live and the lives they touch.

1. Develop empathy. Empathy is the ability to recognize other people's emotions, needs, and feelings. Developing empathy allows your child to recognize that others might want or need something and allows them to feel good about being generous because they can understand how their generosity is helping. Teach your child empathy by asking how other people-or even fictional characters or animals-might feel. For example, "How do you think it made the kitty feel when you put her in the dryer?"
   
   
2. Encourage sharing. Your daughter has been driving around in her new Barbie Power Wheels. Whenever her playmate asks for a chance to drive, your daughter replies, "Get your own ride," and hits the pedal to the plastic. Step in when this occurs. Sit her down and tell her the importance of sharing. Explain that without sharing she is going to lose playmates. Ask her why she doesn't want to share. Try to get her to think about how her playmate feels. If she decides to share, give her lots of praise.
   
   
3. Start charity and volunteer work early. There are many opportunities for volunteer work that are fun for the whole family. Kids may enjoy cleaning up local parks or helping out at the animal shelter. Many parents also find that they can get their kids excited about saving for charity. Let your kids pick the charity and then keep a container in the house where they can drop in spare change or part of their allowance. When the container is full, send the money to the charity and imagine together how the donations might be used.
   
   
4. Teach kindness. Explain that generosity isn't just about giving time or money. It's also about performing kind acts in everyday life. Encourage your kids to perform random acts of kindness by giving them an occasional kindness task. For example, suggest that your kids tell one person during the day why they like them. Or propose that they talk or play with a kid who isn't popular. Teach your kids that they can be emotionally generous and make people feel great, without giving a penny.
   
   
5. Be your own hero. What is the best thing about being generous? It helps us! That's right, being generous is really in our own self-interest because it helps us make friends and feel good about ourselves. Help your child realize this by talking about how he feels after he helps a neighbor rake her yard. Or talk about how he feels after he yells at his brother. Does yelling or being kind feel better? Does raking the neighbor's leaves outweigh the pain of giving up an hour of TV time? Emphasize that we can control what we feel like on the inside by making choices we are proud of every day.
   
   
6. Practice what you preach. Of course the best way to teach our kids generosity is to show them what a kind and generous person looks a like (and that does not mean showing them photographs). Pay the toll for the person behind you in line. Encourage your family to donate money on your behalf rather than giving you Christmas presents. Volunteer for charitable causes. Give support to a neighbor or colleague in need. You are the best inspiration for your kids.

By starting early, emphasizing the importance of giving, teaching ways to make a difference, and showing how great it feels, you can help your children focus on becoming caring, kind, and generous people. There is no greater gift you can give your kids than a deep sense of generosity, which will ensure they have happy and fulfilling lives.