Love of the Game

by Tony Chen

What is it about sports to gets us dads so passionate?  Why is it that one of the first words my toddler ever said on his own was "let's go red sox!" (this was even before his fascination with Elmo).   

Why We Love Sports

Sports has a special place in so many of our lives.  And it's not just because of savvy marketing (though they certainly are).  Why is it that ESPN is a $5 billion dollar business, the highest grossing cable channel in the world?  They've essentially made it a sport to cover sports -- they're onto something.

We all want to be a part of something bigger.  Especially as men, we want to be part of a team, part of an epic battle, and part of conquering new lands.  Sports gives that to us.  Our loyalty to "the team" - playing and spectating - creates a fraternity that is unlike no other.  How many more movies about high school sports team do we need to watch to see this?  AndwWe've essentially voted with our pockets -- millions of us pay the big buckeroos to stand in the bleachers alongside our brethren (instead of just watching it on TV).  When there's a purpose, a goal, and a common enemy, we men band together. 

We love sports because it reminds us of good memories from our childhood.  We remember our dads going nuts in the family room.  We remember him teaching us how to swing the bat.  We remember how we felt when we first scored a basket on our dad.  We think of sports as quality time with dad.  And we saw that our dads were passionate about it.

 As a young child, sports is also a key avenue to build self-confidence.  I've noticed this in boys especially - they want to be tested.  They want to see how strong, fast, quick, persistent, and sharp they can be physically.  Over time, sports just becomes a part of our competitive make-up.  I remember inventing games as a teenager just to see how fast I could train my reflexes.  My 3yo is the same - you should see the obstacle-course-minute-to-win-it set ups that end up dominating our entire house.  Too hard, and they're both discouraged and motivated to try again.  Too easy, and it's not even worth doing.  Sports pushes us to the limit of our abilities, and we end up discovering that we're capable of a lot more than we originally thought.  We go to our mommies to feel safe, but we go to our dads to be on the edge.  

Dangerous Passions?

The interesting thing is that the reasons we love sports are probably the same reasons that some people hate it.  I heard from people who didn't like sports at all and saw it as a big wedge between them and their sports-loving dads.  A while back, I posted a sports-related story on savvy daddy's facebook page, and I remember one guy responded, saying "f--- savvy daddy" for pushing sports.  It was obvious that he was still carrying around that bitterness with him all those years when he thought his dad loved sports TV more than him.  As strong as the bonds are for those on the inside, the outsiders feel that left out.  What makes it even worse is that we as a society over-emphasize sports stars.  Putting so much of the spotlight onto them also inevitably warps all of us - we fans and the athletes themselves.  Hey, if I had that much money and attention, I'm not sure I'd be strong enough not to let it get to my head.

All of this to say, what are you passionate about?  Whatever it is, your kids will know it.  And more likely than not, they're also grow into it or have to put up with it.  Eventually, how can we help our kids develop their own passions, even it it's not ours?

Sports Stories from the Frontlines of Fatherhood

I asked some people about their experience with sports teams and their dads and kids.  What is amazing to me is how deep the roots of sports go.  It's part of the American family experience.  Here are their stories:

My father lived to be 94 years old and passed away in 2005, he waited until the Red Sox won the World Series and had a great life. My brother has been to 39 opening Day games... In April, Opening Day at Fenway Park was on Easter Sunday. I thought, of course, my brother was going, but he didn't have tickets. I bought two tickets and took my brother. We sat in the bleachers. Everyone in the world should go to Opening Day at Fenway Park. Opening Day was one of the best memories of my life and the Sox beat the Yankees... I am now a huge Red Sox fan and can't wait until my next game. - Janet Spurr

My dad, Eddie Bruce, is a crazy Phillies fan, so much so that tomorrow he's flying out to Phoenix to follow the Phils for the weekend while they're on the road. That's the kind of passion for baseball and the Phillies that he has passed on to me. Last year we shared an incredible, emotional experience. My dad had a close relationship with the late legendary Phillies broadcaster, Harry Kalas. They were really funny together. My dad always wished he could be a sports broadcaster and Harry always wished he could sing like my dad, who is a bandleader and performer. When Harry died, his wife Eileen asked my dad to sing Harry's favorite song "High Hopes" at his memorial service at Citizen's Bank Park. There was my dad with the entire Phillies team including such Hall of Famers as Steve Carlton and Mike Schmidt. To sit in the stands and watch my dad sing for Harry made me so proud. Dad has shared his love of the Phillies with me since I was a young girl. I remember going to Phillies games when I was 9 years old and watching players like John Kruk, Darren Daulton and Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams. Since then my appreciation for The Phillies has only grown. We continue to go to Phillies games together as often as possible (three already this season) and "talk baseball" regularly. I'm a pretty lucky 25 year old woman. My dad is dedicated to me and we're both dedicated to The Phillies.  - Emily Bruce

 My Dad was a marathon runner back in the early 80s when I was between the ages of 4 and 9. His goal was to qualify and run the Boston Marathon, which he did in 1985. Boston was his last marathon.   I ran my first marathon in 2002 at the age of 27. Since then, I have completed 16 additional marathons, including the Boston Marathon in 2007 and 2008 (which I had to qualify to run).  - Patricia Hicks

 My daughters who are both adults now were exposed to sports definitely through me. When they were young I took them to women's basketball games at U of Toledo and they loved it. They both got involved in basketball in grade school and became very successful, both becoming first team all city players. Both however were more interested in theater and went on to college in that direction which pretty well ruled out sports because of time restrictions. One daughter has been on Broadway and just finished playing Fanny Brice in Funny Girly in Chicago. One toured the country as Pippi Longstockings and is now a teacher. I think both would say that sports helped them in a variety of ways, courage, teamwork, thinking on their feet, dealing with losing and winning, and that's what I wanted for them - that and just having fun.  - Scott Shepherd of Rekindleyourheart.com

A child performer with the San Francisco Ballet, Bonnie-Jill was always a huge sports fan - something she got from her dad (now a retired police officer). An undeniable beauty, she leveraged her talent to become a cheerleader with the Golden State Warriors while still in high school. From there., she joined the ranks of The San Francisco 49'ers and then the Dallas Cowboys.  Named NFL Cheerleader of the Year, it wasn't long before she caught the attention of Hollywood and the media, so Bonnie-Jill moved to Los Angeles to pursue sports broadcasting. She was assigned to cover the Lakers for the CBS O&O, and got to know Laker management well. Dr. Jerry Buss, Lakers' Owner, was so impressed with her knowledge of the game and her insights into the team that he offered her a scouting position, and the rest, as they say, was history. (Bonnie-Jill is the only female scout in the NBA, for the Lakers.  She's also the assistant general manager of the Laker's dev league.) 

Fathers and daughters have a special relationship growing up - but as they go through teenage years and get into adulthood, often they have less and less in common other than the love they have for each other. Not me and my dad - we are bound together by the New York Giants. I currently live in Boston, in a city that still sees red from the NY Giants taking away their perfect season and I was so proud to have that perfect moment with my dad.  My dad is terminally ill, and the one thing I hope to do for him : take him to the new meadowlands. It will be an experience I will have forever. Anytime I look at my mugs, my jerseys, and everything blue in my home, it's really all about dad. to me Dad and the NY Giants go hand in hand and I am lucky to be able to have his memories of the Giants even before I was alive. -Susan Lloyd

My Dad is a huge Green Bay Packer fan, and so am I. There's no doubt he is the reason why I like the Pack. He shared his passion for them with me through my childhood, taking me to games, player appearances, training camp, even buying my a complete uniform and helmet (grade school).  The interesting part of this is... I had a few late teen/early twenties rebel years where I fanned the Los Angels Rams, which drove my Dad crazy. Also, the Rams were contenders back then and the Packers, well not so much. What he didn't know was that I secretly would root for the Packers, too. Never really stopped. When I got older, the Rams kick wore off (and they moved to St. Louis, ironically closer to Rockford, IL) and I became as big a fan of the Packers as my Dad.  Have a similar story about the White Sox and the Yankees:D - Brent Shelton of FatWallet.com

My father definitely passed my passion for sports, specifically baseball, down to me.  Every year since I was 4, he has taken me to New York Mets games at Shea Stadium and now Citi Field.  We've been to roughly 300 games together and, even though he lives in Florida now and I'm a 25 year old professional, we make sure we get to Opening Day every single year.  My girlfriend and I even take an annual trip down to visit them every March to catch some Mets Spring Training baseball to get into gear for the coming season. Throughout my childhood, my father has been my baseball coach, teaching me how to swing and field (I still play on an amateur team to this day).  He taught me about his heroes, like Tom Seaver, and shared how the Mets shaped his life.  And he's been my partner in crime.  I can honestly say my father is my best friend.  And I definitely have sports, in part, to thank for that. - Brian Emi, M.A.

 I live in Cincinnati (grew up in NJ) and am a fan of Syracuse (alum), Dallas Cowboys and Milwaukee Brewers. My 7 year old son has adopted all three teams even though not popular locally. He almost became a Bengal fan this last year but is still hanging onto the Cowboys. We both have a lot of passion around the games and he loves to watch all sports even at his young age. He's glued to sportscenter first thing every morning and has a big Prince Fielder fat head on his wall. We also are playing the MLB Playstation game as the Brewers for a season.  - Glen Garvin

 I am a huge fan of hockey,( play goalie) in particular the detroit red wings. and now my little guy does too. well he is only 18 months, and has yet to really understand the game, he loves to watch it. i just say hockey and he gets all excited, runs to the tv, points to the pictures on his walls, or grabs the xbox controller for a quick game. so funny to see that from him, just love it. cant wait to get him on the ice - Warren Alden Swan

Im a dad who grew up in MA as a hard core member of Red Sox Nation.  I now live in NYC and have successfully raised a son and daughter (13, 10) as big Boston sports fans as well (and pretty much detesting all rival NY teams as well!).  Its been tough going to school w/ Boston sports apparel in their Yankee/etc obsessed world but they proudly support their teams. - David Markowitz

oh, and LET'S GO RED SOX!