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How to Decide on This Whole Spanking Thing

tony's picture
Submitted by tony on March 7, 2008 - 8:07pm.

To spank or not to spank? It's perhaps the most controversial and emotional debate in parenting. And like all great debates, the data is inconclusive and the experts are split, so the argument dissolves into a battle of contrasting interpretations, and conflicting emotions and beliefs. To help you sort out your position, below are some of the often-cited studies and common arguments for and against spanking as a form of discipline.

Anti-Spanking
Anti-Spanking Arguments
  • Spanking is morally and ethically wrong. Even if data says spanking helps discipline kids, it's just not ok to hit people. We wouldn't allow bosses to start spanking their employees even if data showed that it improved employees' performance.
  • Spanking teaches that violence is acceptable.
  • Spanking is an ineffective method of discipline.
  • Spanking causes behavioral problems in children.
  • Spanking teaches that good reasoning is less important than physical power.
  • Spanking has been discouraged by many respected organizations, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Canadian Pediatric Society, and the American Psychological Association.
  • Spanking has been outlawed in many developed countries, including Japan, New Zealand, and over a dozen countries in Europe.
Anti-Spanking Data
  • A history of being spanked has been linked with higher incidents of mental health problems.
  • A history of being spanked has been linked with higher incidents of drug and alcohol abuse.
  • A history of being spanked has been linked with higher incidents of violence.
  • A history of being spanked has been linked with higher incidents of spousal abuse.
  • Studies show that there are non-violent disciplinary methods that are as effective as spanking to immediately stop an undesirable behavior.
  • Studies show that there are non-violent disciplinary methods that are more effective at reducing certain behavioral problems over time.
Anti-Spanking Summary: Most experts agree that the data on spanking is not conclusive. Even so, people who oppose spanking argue that, like the relationship between tobacco and cancer, even without an iron-clad study the data shows clear trends overall. Given the significant chance that spanking could cause problems, the ethical questions surrounding spanking, and the equally effective non-violent methods, it seems that spanking has no upside and a likely downside.

Pro-Spanking
Pro-Spanking Arguments
  • Spanking makes kids behave better. There is less spanking today, and that is in part responsible for increased modern problems like violence and crime.
  • Spanking has a long tradition as an effective form of discipline. Spanking is used by most Americans today, and it has been practiced throughout history.
  • Spanking associates a behavior with pain, which leaves a more visceral and lasting impression. An immediate slap on the rear if a kid runs into the street will cement into the child's head that running into the street is really unpleasant. A time out and a talk about why streets are dangerous would not have as profound an effect.
  • Spanking becomes the looming threat that makes words and reasoning more effective.
  • Spanking instills a sense of authority. You have to listen to your parents not because they have good reasoning but because they are your parents.
Pro-Spanking Data
  • The anti-spanking data is inconclusive because its findings fail to account for socioeconomic status. That is, certain populations might spank more and also have higher rates of alcoholism and violence. That doesn't mean that spanking caused the violence or alcohol-it only means that violence, alcohol, and spanking exist in the same community.
  • The anti-spanking data is inconclusive because it does not account for the amount and method of spanking. A slap on the butt one time when your kid runs into a street is different from spanking your kid as the primary method of discipline. Most of the studies put both kids in the same category, and then draw conclusions based on the category as a whole. Some minimal spanking level, however, could be effective and cause no problems, but these studies would not pick that up.
  • The anti-spanking data is inconclusive because parents may resort to spanking with kids who have serious behavioral problems once words, reasoning, and time outs have failed. Those kids will likely have more violence, anti-social behavior, and mental health problems later in life because of their behavior problems, not because they were spanked.
  • Studies that control for some of these factors show that children who are spanked are not more violent than children who are not spanked.
  • Since Sweden banned spanking in 1979, teenage violence has gone up by 600%.
  • A review of studies by Robert E. Larzelere, a major researcher on discipline, concludes that spanking can be an effective technique in very specific circumstances. He found that for spanking to be effective it must be "2 open-handed swats to the buttocks, leaving no bruise," used only 1) by loving parents; 2) infrequently; 3) as a minor supplement to the primary techniques of reasoning and time outs; and 4) only on kids aged 2-6.
Pro-Spanking Summary: Most spanking defenders argue that the data against spanking is not at all compelling, so there is simply no reason to give up an effective form of discipline that has a long, successful history. Spanking is extremely useful if done carefully, infrequently, and as a minor part of a parent's overall disciplinary approach.

Conclusions
Both sides agree that spanking can cause harm to children and should not be used if it is frequent, physically harmful, performed in anger or frustration, or used on children under the age of 2 or 3. The camps are only divided on the limited question of whether current data or ethics support infrequent spanking as an acceptable disciplinary method in limited circumstances. Because the data is not clear and the experts and public disagree, there is no easy answer. It's a decision that parents must make for themselves after considering the facts, the arguments, their culture, and their own beliefs and values. No expert or article can make this important decision for you.

Other Links
John Rosemond, often considered the great spanking advocate



paddles
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Re: How to Decide on This Whole Spanking Thing

Submitted by Stephen (not verified) on February 24, 2012 - 11:10pm.

I also do not like spanking as a form of discipline. First, it does not guarantee that the child's behavior will change and there are studies which say that aggressive behavior is linked to spanking. I have written persuasive essays against spanking .You can also check it out.

Re: How to Decide on This Whole Spanking Thing

Submitted by Kikki Felton (not verified) on May 6, 2011 - 12:08am.

My comment and opinion is from someone who was spanked as a kid. I believe that people confuse abuse and spanking. Its easier to say all physical punishment it abuse then it is to have a balance on the topic. EVERY child is DIFFRENT, even in the same household. The problem i have with the dont hit at all argument is that there is no one fit all shoe for alternate ways to correct unwanted behavior. You are told "a child never misbehaves" and "and correct them in love" but even if you NEVER use any physical disciplin on your child and they grow up and still break the law, are disrespectful to everyone, etc have you failed? will you wonder where you went wrong when your child cannot hold a job because they have been taught that they always have a voice for their feelings. is that reality? How many times do you have to do something you dont want to do but have to because it is life? I see so many anti spanking arguments with anti control and egalitariaism or "equal rights" between parents and children inside there relationshio that i wonder. WHEN does personal choice become added in and can a five year old really have the knowledge base to make every choice they want about there life and am i wrong to set boundaries for my child where i see fit. I have even read that you are not to tell your child to say thank you or please that it controls them and can foster feelings of hatred and self hatred because they will feel that they are to stupit to think for themselves. I feel like most arguments give childlen all the power to dictate how they should be raised and at the same time make them out to be so fragile that the telling them to do something underminds there ability to develop a healthy self esteem.

Re: How to Decide on This Whole Spanking Thing

Submitted by TealRose (not verified) on January 27, 2011 - 4:43pm.

If you spank - you are violating trust and love of an innocent, vulnerable, defenceless child. Use your hands for what you were given them for - to eat, to make things, to stroke and care for, to love. If you stretch your hand with or without an implement to a child - you are giving them a vision of pain and fear. Hitting a child with a cane, slipper, birch, belt, whip, wooden spoons, spatulas, paddles is unnecessary and downright cruel. I am disgusted that anyone would do this.

How on earth can hitting a child be seen as right in this day and age ? Hitting an adult or animal is wrong - but hitting a CHILD is not ??? Madness. there is ALWAYS a better, gentle way.

Discipline which means teach your child right from wrong gently and kindly, not with brutality.

For those Christians amongst us, whom I am one, can you imagine Jesus' mother Mary lashing him with a wooden spoon? Or His Joseph, taking him into his woodshed for a good strapping ? No ..

And did Jesus tell you to hit anyone ? No ... even in the temple ... he chased out the animals and turned over the tables of the men selling things... he didn't HIT them.

Something to consider

Submitted by fatherof5 on April 3, 2008 - 2:28pm.

What I offer is a thought to remember. If you do spank, don't use your hands. Why? Besides the fact that you may leave your handprint :( - I believe God gaves us hands to serve others in love. If we spank with our hand, unconsciously our kids begin to associate negative feelings and thoughts about our hands - potentially to a point where when we extend our hands to our children in love they are fearful. Just a thought.

Re: Something to consider

Submitted by duhhh (not verified) on October 2, 2011 - 11:40pm.

If you're going to bring God into it, let's use scripture...not you're feelings.

In Proverbs, it says that a person who withholds the rod hates his child. From that, we can gather that spanking your child is loving. Does God keep us from ever getting hurt? No, of course not. Do you curse God for going through pain? If you believe in a sovereign God, He could stop it...so why don't you? You don't because you realize that going through painful situations suck, but are great for learning. Have you learned more from the times everything went well, or from mistakes?

Re: Something to consider

Submitted by Mother (not verified) on May 6, 2009 - 10:09am.

But, if you hit with an object, how do you know how hard you are really hitting the child?

Re: Something to consider

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on May 31, 2011 - 1:33pm.

I am a mother of two kind, intelligent, lovely never spanked daughters who are ten and thirteen. I would never want them to strike another individual or allow themselves to be hit...I love and respect them and would want that respect for them in all of their close relationships now and in the future. Also, I'm a therapist working with children and families and know that there are many, many ways to teach and guide children so that we never have to inflict pain as a way to control or punish. I want children to learn and develop internal self control and I fail to see how spanking will teach this. It may produce initial outward compliance, but there is not a shred of solid data or evidence to support it as producing long term benefits, quite the opposite in fact, when it is used too frequently and with out thought, the child simply becomes immune and of course the frequency and intensity often increases and this is when spanking can become abusive. My background includes 12 years in a child protective agency and I've had to remove children who were left with marks, bruises and welts and it is truely a tragedy for the child and the family. There is a fine line folks and given the stress and overwhelming exaustion that comes with parenting, nearly anyone can cross the line. Given my professional experience and education, I am a strong opponent of this practice,

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