I am going to champion the "score a game winner" response from more than a simple snort, scratch and spit alpha male angle.
It seems to me that it is our job to not only nurture and encourage emotionally aware, emotionally intelligent children, but strong, active individuals who not only are willing to lead by example but who can inspire their teammates and classmates. On an individual basis, the simple act of sharing without encouragement is awesome! Seeing that fills me with pride, no doubt about it. But from a broader point of view, I would love it if my child's selfless sharing was a motivation or example for his classmates to do the same. Now lets be honest - adult or child, we are motivated by those we look to as leaders. Whether a parent, a teacher, a friend, a peer or what have you, we look to those we respect as examples of how to live.
Now lets think about this a bit more. If your child is in the position to score a game winner, it means his or her coach and teammates have faith in him or her. That's pretty heavy right there and inspires pride regardless of whether or not he/she scores. If he/she has the ability to score a game winner, it most likely speaks to the child's dedication to practice and focus (not easy as a youngster). A child like this is a budding leader. Someone who puts in the work and knows that it isn't about what you wish for, its about what you work for. This child is most likely looked at as a leader. Not always, of course, but I'm painting with a broad brush here, as we must in these kinds of conversations. Its your job to make sure that kind of ability doesn't go to your kid's head, though.
A leader is more likely to be held up as an example by his/her peers, such that when he/she shares or helps clean up or brushes his/her teeth without being asked, or undertakes some similar action, his or her peers and siblings will see that and say (most likely to themselves on a very subconscious level) "I should do that too."
It seems to me that responding to this survey is tough, because all of those things would make any of us proud. But to me, personally, I am most proud of my son when he earns the respect of his peers through his actions. Not just an individual action that stands out in time, but an ethic that, when nurtured from the first, can help bring depth to his environment (classroom or practice field) for all of his peers.
It was from that context that I chose my response.
Additionally, I think that the guy who was talking about "trading" had his heart in the right place, but perhaps he just didn't really think his response through. In any event, his kid is probably NOT ever going to be the one scoring a game winning goal in any team sport. On the other hand, his kid might be great at individual sports.
"A weak body commands. A strong body obeys." –Socrates
Submitted by Tyler (not verified) on May 13, 2008 - 5:58am.
I am encouraged to see so many fathers choose the sharing answer. I wish everyone would have. Character development in our children should be our focus. If our kids grow up extremely intelligent, phenomenally athletic and with fantastic personality but without character of heart, I would think of failure.
We have to remember as fathers that 90% of what we teach does not come from our mouths but our actions. The easiest way to keep this at the forefront of our minds is to keep our noses in the Bible. If you want some awesome advice on parenting look no further then the teachings in the Bible.
Submitted by Mike (not verified) on May 9, 2008 - 6:34am.
I went with the math test.
My son is only 2 at the moment, but we're teaching him to share and I'd hope he'd have the hang of it by the time he was 5, so that would hopefully not be something "surprising" enough to be a proud moment, you know? I also fully expect that he'll be burping (amongst other bodily functions) on a regular basis as a boy... nothing to crow about! The winning soccer (more likely hockey) goal would be a proud moment indeed, but doing well in school is VERY important. It opens up doors, and what more could I want for my kid than a strong foundation towards a successful life?
We called Baby Mozart "Baby Prozac!" It rolled off the tongue better than "Baby Ambien." We would put it on before nap time, and then after awhile, putting it on became naptime!
I would have done things differently, but with three infants, it is different! We were, and are, outnumbered.
I tend to think that for every parent, something is the new rock and roll, the new marijuana, the new aspertame, the new MSG. There is always something in our culture that is scapegoated to bear to weight of our dissatisfaction with society. It differs for different groups; spanking, psychiatry, television, video games, tag, tests, name calling, whatever. The thing that holds these concepts together is the reducto ad absurdum quality of the thinking involved.
Moderation works for most things, not abuse or cocaine or murder, but a lot of other choices.
I agree that watching tv WITH our children is very different than them watching it alone. And there are a lot of interesting things to watch. Tonight we watched a show on ancient Chinese boats.
Trey
Drtrey3 Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Father of Four including 5 year old triplets
Submitted by JohnThomas (not verified) on May 5, 2008 - 4:24pm.
I want my kids to make something of themselves. I encourage them to trade rather than share. All kids want what another kid has. If you teach them to share, then the other kid gets what they want, but your kid does not, therefore you are teaching them to lose in the game of life. If you teach them to trade, then you teach them a much more valuable lesson, and both kids are happier. Sharing is better than trading only if you value the happiness of other kids more than your own. The lessons learned from trading rather than sharing will help them to ace that math test!
Submitted by Steve (not verified) on May 10, 2008 - 10:38am.
Wow. That's a frightening attitude! It
scares me to think that there are actually people in this world with
that kind of attitude. Yikes! I have a lot of fears as a parent. One of
them is knowing that my children have to grow up in a world where
parents teach their children warped and selfish attitudes like these!!!
I thought this pole was a joke. I thought everyone would vote that
they want their 5 year old to share. I must be living in a dream world.
Wow, 20% would want to see other kids fail a math exam? How many 5 year
olds take math exams? I know a math teacher. A human-hearted person
would want everyone to do their best.
Man, it's hard to not get on a soap box. I'm far from perfect, but
it seems to me the biggest problem with this world - the mess everyone
is in - is because children grow up to be greedy selfish adults - all
competing to be #1. They grow up this way because that's what the see
their parents doing - regardless of what they're told.
I can hear it now. "Oh, lighten up. This is just a fun poll."
Well...the results don't lie. Kudos to all who would rather see their 5
year old sharing. Those of you who don't, please reconsider for the
sake of humanity.
For 40 years Sesame Street has been teaching kids to share. The poster needs to watch the episode of "Ni Hao, Kai-Lan" entitled "Kai-Lan's Campout" in which Tolee learns that sharing does not mean completely giving up what's yours, and that it can benefit you, as well. It can be hard to teach sharing if you were never taught sharing.
Yes, I found that response to be very, very frightening. I'm a nonreligious, but even I know the benefits of selflessness. Man, can you imagine? "Hey, buddy, can you help me get this table up the stairs?" ... "Well,... what's in it for me?"
And we're not even talking about selflessness! Sharing! Mere sharing. Yikes, indeed!
Submitted by Keith Weaver (not verified) on May 4, 2008 - 2:13pm.
I like this poll because as I think about it I feel that I should be most proud of my son if he shared his toy with out being asked. And I would be very proud of him. But scoring that winning goal I think would make me even more proud. Or at least I would brag about this more to my other friends.
On a side note I don't think that the burping would make me proud but I would defiantly laugh about it and encourage him to do it again until my wife gives me the look. . . I love being a dad
Submitted by tylermitchell on May 4, 2008 - 6:32am.
My goal is to raise my children to be contributing citizens and leaders in the community. Being willing to share with others is integral to this.
Actually - my 3 year old is quite cute with sharing. He loves to share and actually gets quite upset if you do not accept what he is wanting to share with you!
I feel like I chose the sharing option because it's better in the scheme of things. But the winning soccer goal appeals to my alpha male, competitive side. Need an option of scoring the winning goal and sharing the victory with teammates in the post game interviews! ;)
I am going to champion the
I am going to champion the "score a game winner" response from more than a simple snort, scratch and spit alpha male angle.
It seems to me that it is our job to not only nurture and encourage emotionally aware, emotionally intelligent children, but strong, active individuals who not only are willing to lead by example but who can inspire their teammates and classmates. On an individual basis, the simple act of sharing without encouragement is awesome! Seeing that fills me with pride, no doubt about it. But from a broader point of view, I would love it if my child's selfless sharing was a motivation or example for his classmates to do the same. Now lets be honest - adult or child, we are motivated by those we look to as leaders. Whether a parent, a teacher, a friend, a peer or what have you, we look to those we respect as examples of how to live.
Now lets think about this a bit more. If your child is in the position to score a game winner, it means his or her coach and teammates have faith in him or her. That's pretty heavy right there and inspires pride regardless of whether or not he/she scores. If he/she has the ability to score a game winner, it most likely speaks to the child's dedication to practice and focus (not easy as a youngster). A child like this is a budding leader. Someone who puts in the work and knows that it isn't about what you wish for, its about what you work for. This child is most likely looked at as a leader. Not always, of course, but I'm painting with a broad brush here, as we must in these kinds of conversations. Its your job to make sure that kind of ability doesn't go to your kid's head, though.
A leader is more likely to be held up as an example by his/her peers, such that when he/she shares or helps clean up or brushes his/her teeth without being asked, or undertakes some similar action, his or her peers and siblings will see that and say (most likely to themselves on a very subconscious level) "I should do that too."
It seems to me that responding to this survey is tough, because all of those things would make any of us proud. But to me, personally, I am most proud of my son when he earns the respect of his peers through his actions. Not just an individual action that stands out in time, but an ethic that, when nurtured from the first, can help bring depth to his environment (classroom or practice field) for all of his peers.
It was from that context that I chose my response.
Additionally, I think that the guy who was talking about "trading" had his heart in the right place, but perhaps he just didn't really think his response through. In any event, his kid is probably NOT ever going to be the one scoring a game winning goal in any team sport. On the other hand, his kid might be great at individual sports.
"A weak body commands. A strong body obeys." –Socrates
Life Lessons
I am encouraged to see so many fathers choose the sharing answer. I wish everyone would have. Character development in our children should be our focus. If our kids grow up extremely intelligent, phenomenally athletic and with fantastic personality but without character of heart, I would think of failure.
We have to remember as fathers that 90% of what we teach does not come from our mouths but our actions. The easiest way to keep this at the forefront of our minds is to keep our noses in the Bible. If you want some awesome advice on parenting look no further then the teachings in the Bible.
Poll
I went with the math test.
My son is only 2 at the moment, but we're teaching him to share and I'd hope he'd have the hang of it by the time he was 5, so that would hopefully not be something "surprising" enough to be a proud moment, you know? I also fully expect that he'll be burping (amongst other bodily functions) on a regular basis as a boy... nothing to crow about! The winning soccer (more likely hockey) goal would be a proud moment indeed, but doing well in school is VERY important. It opens up doors, and what more could I want for my kid than a strong foundation towards a successful life?
TV
We called Baby Mozart "Baby Prozac!" It rolled off the tongue better than "Baby Ambien." We would put it on before nap time, and then after awhile, putting it on became naptime!
I would have done things differently, but with three infants, it is different! We were, and are, outnumbered.
I tend to think that for every parent, something is the new rock and roll, the new marijuana, the new aspertame, the new MSG. There is always something in our culture that is scapegoated to bear to weight of our dissatisfaction with society. It differs for different groups; spanking, psychiatry, television, video games, tag, tests, name calling, whatever. The thing that holds these concepts together is the reducto ad absurdum quality of the thinking involved.
Moderation works for most things, not abuse or cocaine or murder, but a lot of other choices.
I agree that watching tv WITH our children is very different than them watching it alone. And there are a lot of interesting things to watch. Tonight we watched a show on ancient Chinese boats.
Trey
Drtrey3 Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Father of Four including 5 year old triplets
Trading vs Sharing = Math
I want my kids to make something of themselves. I encourage them to trade rather than share. All kids want what another kid has. If you teach them to share, then the other kid gets what they want, but your kid does not, therefore you are teaching them to lose in the game of life. If you teach them to trade, then you teach them a much more valuable lesson, and both kids are happier. Sharing is better than trading only if you value the happiness of other kids more than your own. The lessons learned from trading rather than sharing will help them to ace that math test!
Reply to Trading vs. Sharing
Wow. That's a frightening attitude! It scares me to think that there are actually people in this world with that kind of attitude. Yikes! I have a lot of fears as a parent. One of them is knowing that my children have to grow up in a world where parents teach their children warped and selfish attitudes like these!!!
I thought this pole was a joke. I thought everyone would vote that they want their 5 year old to share. I must be living in a dream world. Wow, 20% would want to see other kids fail a math exam? How many 5 year olds take math exams? I know a math teacher. A human-hearted person would want everyone to do their best.
Man, it's hard to not get on a soap box. I'm far from perfect, but it seems to me the biggest problem with this world - the mess everyone is in - is because children grow up to be greedy selfish adults - all competing to be #1. They grow up this way because that's what the see their parents doing - regardless of what they're told.
I can hear it now. "Oh, lighten up. This is just a fun poll." Well...the results don't lie. Kudos to all who would rather see their 5 year old sharing. Those of you who don't, please reconsider for the sake of humanity.
No, I agree with you
For 40 years Sesame Street has been teaching kids to share. The poster needs to watch the episode of "Ni Hao, Kai-Lan" entitled "Kai-Lan's Campout" in which Tolee learns that sharing does not mean completely giving up what's yours, and that it can benefit you, as well. It can be hard to teach sharing if you were never taught sharing.
Yes, I found that response to be very, very frightening. I'm a nonreligious, but even I know the benefits of selflessness. Man, can you imagine? "Hey, buddy, can you help me get this table up the stairs?" ... "Well,... what's in it for me?"
And we're not even talking about selflessness! Sharing! Mere sharing. Yikes, indeed!
Ah the right answer or the truthful answer
I like this poll because as I think about it I feel that I should be most proud of my son if he shared his toy with out being asked. And I would be very proud of him. But scoring that winning goal I think would make me even more proud. Or at least I would brag about this more to my other friends.
On a side note I don't think that the burping would make me proud but I would defiantly laugh about it and encourage him to do it again until my wife gives me the look. . . I love being a dad
Sharing
My goal is to raise my children to be contributing citizens and leaders in the community. Being willing to share with others is integral to this.
Actually - my 3 year old is quite cute with sharing. He loves to share and actually gets quite upset if you do not accept what he is wanting to share with you!
www.tylermitchell.com
You have to live like no one else.
Tough call
I feel like I chose the sharing option because it's better in the scheme of things. But the winning soccer goal appeals to my alpha male, competitive side. Need an option of scoring the winning goal and sharing the victory with teammates in the post game interviews! ;)
Sharing
Sharing is a hard thing for many kids, especially toddlers, so when I see my son share without asking it makes me extremely proud!
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