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How much TV is really bad or enough!!??
Okay let me give you fellow savvy daddies the background here. I
have my beautiful wife, an attorney at that so I have to make sure that
any argument that I bring up is substantiated with facts. My friends,
none really have kids and the ones that do, went to state schools or
UC's here in California. My wife on the other hand, her friends are
scholars from Berkeley, Stanford and Harvard. Now her friends kids are
much older, but of course they are brilliant because they can read
Shakespeare already and can tell you what its all about.
Well the other day my son was out all day at the pool, he's 22
months. He came home tired, I was watching TV and having some snacks,
healthy snacks at that. My son sat right next to me without me saying
anything, it was a truly great father moment, him wanting to just chill
with Dad for a little while dinner was being prepared. I forget what we
were watching on TV but it wasn't Einstein's cartoons or anything like
that.
My wife comes over and tells me she really doesn't want our son
watching TV, because none of her friends let there children watch TV? I
was like what? Show me where to much TV is bad? I'm talking about at
the most 1.5 hours a day that my kid may watch. I have a close friend
that is a retired Pediatrician and the only thing that he told me is to
not let the child watch the TV really close.
Am I just trying to hold my ground here, or am I wrong?
Re: How much TV is really bad or enough!!??
It's an interesting question. When our son (now 19 mo.) was born we planned to keep the TV off whenever he was around, and pretty much did for the first few months. When it was on, he wasn't too interested. But as he got older, we started to discover that there really is some quality kids' TV on these days. I'm a teacher, and while I'm not a specialist in early childhood development, I've found that there really is some good to be gained from some of the programs. At his age, he's not really absorbing the science lessons or math skills (I think) but I can say that he LOVES the music on some of the shows. Jack's Big Music Show for example -- if he's in a grumpy mood, all I need to do is start singing the theme song and he'lll start smiling and clapping along. If we turn on a show that isn't kid-centred, he generally has no interest.
Now, as with anything, we have some house rules. We've splurged on premium cable (Noggin is a great network!) so that he can be spared commercials, which I think probably DO have a negative impact. We do try to limit TV watching to 1-2 hours a day, though on occasion there are exceptions -- like if my wife needs help in the kitchen, I'd rather put him in his high chair and let him watch a favorite show on DVD than let him run around and potentially get hurt. I will admit that I find it a little disconcerting that he's already learned what the TV remote does and will wave it around at us when he's in the mood to watch... :) But generally when we turn it off he will go and do another activity without complaint. That's more of the main issue I think. If all a kid wants to do is watch TV, there's a problem. But if that's mixed in with lots of other activities, I don't think there's an issue. Besides, any kind of father/son bonding is a good thing!
Here's a related question: At what age do you think that a kid is responsible enough to have his own TV in his room? (Not that I'm planning to get him one anytime soon... just wondering...)
P.S. Spartacus, if it helps when talking to your wife, the college I went to is just as good (and snobby) as the ones she and her friends went to... :)
youtube
My little guy is only 2 months old and has yet to notice the TV (though he finds my fish tank mesmerizing!) so I can't comment on this topic based on my parental experience.
I can say, as a teacher, that it's now well known that kids watch way more than they read, especially with the recent explosion of YouTube and other Internet video. I'm of the opinion to not fight this trend, but rather embrace it for learning purposes. Yes, we may have had TV's rolled into our classrooms courtesy of the AV club, but today's youth are making videos, and in the process, wanting ever more to watch them. How will we help our kids benefit from this new paradigm?
2 hours a day max
I have to admit that my girls were watching ALOT of TV. It was just so convenient to be able to get some work done around the house or for me to work on freelance projects. My eyes finally opened with the help of my kids and the escalating electric bill. My kids were just starting to demand to watch TV as soon as they got home from daycare/school. My wife and I finally came to our senses and now limit the girls to 1.5 - 2 hours max a day. Sure they griped and moaned for the 1st 15 mins with no TV on, but after we started breaking out the books, puzzles and board games everything was great. It's good quality time spent with our kids. I test them now and again and ask if they want to watch TV. 95% of the time they say they just want to play games with Mommy and Daddy which is awesome. We really need to soak up the time now with our little ones. I have a few friends with older kids that never want to hang out with their parents.
Man, I don't want my girls to grow up.
similar experience
My girls are a lot more interested in books or drawing than they are with TV. I don't know if it's because they see their parents reading and doing other things or if it's because TV is generally available and therefore not a forbidden pleasure.
I have this discussion almost everyday with my wife...
I have a hard time agreeing and disagreeing on this subject. I do not have a medical or psychological background. I work in television. My argument usually ends with "but I work in TV and I don't have a problem with it". We try to limit the amount of tv our 21 mo old watches. Usually centers around 1-1.5 hours per day and is Sesame Street and these nursery rhymes that are on demand on cable. He usually enjoys watching them, but usually loses interest within the first 30 mintues of Sesame. I work from home some days and it's pretty easy to turn the tv on as a babysitter. That's where I think most people have the problem. It's not necessarily the TV, it how we use it with the kids. I have no problem sitting on the couch and watching a baseball or football game with my little guy. I do have a problem with turning it on and walking away with him standing there staring at it. Just my 2 cents.
None.
I have to disagree and say none at all. Your best bet is to cancel cable, sell the TV completely, and learn to live without it. You'll have a happier, closer, more engaged family for it, and your son will develop a more creative, capable mind.
Almost everything on TV is noise, not signal. Anything that is not outright dumbed-down, lowest-common-denominator trash is just mental masturbation - interesting, in a passive sort of way, designed to hold your attention long enough to bombard you with mindless, psychologically manipulative ads every few minutes.
Like watching sports on TV? Go play them in the yard with your son instead. Like 'learning' (not mastering) things on the Discovery/History/Etc. channel? Try spending the day in the local bookstore or library instead (one of my favorite things to do). Want news? Last place you'll find it is on Britney-obsessed TV. Need some downtime to absorb knowledge? There are much better alternatives than TV. Want to wind down in the evening before going to bed? Go for a run/walk/bikeride around the block, stop to chat with the neighbors, etc. Have some time to kill while wife makes dinner? Go help her instead, make it a family affair, get creative. Learn to converse with your wife and son about real things, that will pay off when he's a teen and real things become difficult to talk about.
Real learning and development of expertise does not take place by passively watching TV. It takes place from actively reading and doing. TV is an easy subsitute for living and learning. It is passive entertainment that requires no concentration or mental perseverance. It is an obstacle to the development of real thinking, learning, relationships, and conversational skills.
In this case your wife - and her friends - are abslutely right. It's like a Rich Dad Poor Dad dichotomy - the smart parents steer their children toward better use of their time and minds, and eventually reap the rewards that give them an edge in life.
Perhaps there was a misunderstanding
I'm not sure if I didn't make myself clear, you misunderstood, or if you're just being sanctimonious, but I'd like to clarify my position for the other dads.
Not having a TV in the house is a perfectly valid viewpoint. From my viewpoint, having a TV doesn't mean watching it every minute of every day; it means it's there as a valid form of entertainment that doesn't harm anyone. If you want to advocate not having a TV, you need to offer realistic alternatives.
Your opinion smacks of a person who doesn't have kids. Not that a TV is essential to parenting by any means, but your suggestions for alternatives show the common faliure in imagination that plagues college kids: forgetting that children are always around, and always need attention. One minute you fantasize about being the perfect dad having long, indepth conversations with your brilliant, even-tempered children, the next you're off exercising or spending long hours deep in study. The only other reason I could assign to your opinion is that your partner is dramtically overworked with the real responsibilities of childrearing while you indulge yourself.
While I'm not much of a fan of sports, generally people enjoy watching sports because they enjoy watching people play the game at a high level of skill. Playing ball with one's child is wonderful fun, but watching my 3 year-old chase a wiffle ball and bludgeon it with a bat isn't sports. It's playing with my kid. We all do that. Assuming everyone gets their information from TV and not books is beneath comment. Spending the day at the library, however, does bear comment. Who is watching your child while you indulge yourself like that? Have you ever tried to spend an hour much less a day at the library with a toddler or infant? Of course not. You'd have been killed by the other patrons.
Are you honestly suggesting we work all day, make dinner, take care of the kids, and then take a run right before bed? Does anyone have that kind of energy? And again, who is watching your kid while you do this?
What's the kid doing while you and your partner tango in the kitchen, popping sushi into each other's mouth while you sip your vintage port? If my wife dumped the kids in the living room and tried to "help" me in the kitchen, I'd wonder if she'd lost her mind. I get dinner served to six people within an hour after getting home so the kids can eat and digest their food before bed. It's not a time for hugs, flirting, and gentle come-hither looks in the kitchen, it's a time to get the job done as quickly as possible.
That you assume TV is a replacement for all learning and communication within a family shows your immaturity and lack of understanding of a normal family dynamic. If you have experience in getting rid of your TV, by all means let us know how you did it and what pitfalls to look out for. Until you do have expereince in real life and not just fantasy, spare us the sophomoric diatribe.
Re: Perhaps there was a misunderstanding
Apologies for the sophomoric diatribe, I should have just let these more elequent writers make the case:
http://charleshughsmith.blogspot.com/2008/08/when-societies-watch-too-mu...
http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/TVtruth.htm
http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/Commercialism.htm
Good luck.
Agree
Gotta agree with Omegapoint, on every point he raised.
Your opinions, especially backed by a medical professional, are every bit as good as her friend's opinions are. In my house, it's the difference between Country music (mom's favorite) and Rock and Roll (mine). At least, for what it's worth, I can now point to a number of country songs whose lyrics are pretty much as offensive as what's on rock stations these days, but still she complains when the boys are listening to what I like.
http://whatsit2you.blogspot.com
A little TV isn't going to hurt anyone
This is a huge can of worms and everybody is an expert on how TV is the worst thing ever.
Everyone needs some downtime, kids included. The brain requires time to incorporate and sort new memories and experiences. There comes a time when a brain just can't absorb new information, and that time comes sooner for kids than adults because there is so much that is new to them.
A TV show can also build a love of learning. The reason that Blue's Clues was such a big hit was that they played the same episode every day for a week. Kids delighted in knowing what was happening and why, and loved being able to tell their parents about it. It's one of the few ways in which a child can feel the pleasure of expertise; the way we feel when we're talking about something we know a lot about. Never giving a kid the chance to revel intheir knowledge means they never know the satisfaction of applying knowledge.
And finally, it's your kid too. You're not taking the kid to cage fights or something, you're trying to spend some bonding time with you son. How you spend that time is up to you, not her. You have an equal voice and an equal right to raise your kids the way you see fit. If you're having a good bonding time with your son, what right does she have to interrupt you or tell you you're doing it wrong? Work together with your wife, absolutely. But don't stand for her telling you that you're quality time with your kid has to match her expectations. Your instincts for childrearing are every bit as good as hers.
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