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More "relaxed" parenting for 2nd, 3rd kids?
I just got this email on how parents become more "relaxed" with the 2nd, 3rd, 4th babies. We still only have 1, so I can't relate. But I'm curious, anyone have this experience?
BIRTH ORDER OF
CHILDREN
Maternity Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon
as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as
possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular
clothes.
______________________________________________________
Preparing for the
Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that
last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,
color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are
clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress -- a whimper, a frown --- you
pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake
your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind
the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________
Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put
it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you
squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back
in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three
hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others
start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
______________________________________________________
Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and
Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry
cleaner.
______________________________________________________
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a
sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you
remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call
only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing
at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be
sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding
from the children.
______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush
the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you
carefully watch for the coin to pass
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct
it from his allowance!
Keeping others relaxed
My wife and I are probably in the top echelon when it comes to relaxed parents. Of course, at first, we were on alert for much of the time but we had both done our fair share of reading up before lil man came so we didn't get too stressed out. I think that helped alot.
Now it's to the point where our 17 month old is as adventurous as a 4 year old it seems. He has this knack for falling. 99% of the time he can get his hands down for a nice save. The hard part is slowing other parents from reacting to his falls. If another parent shows too much concern, he feeds off it and begins crying. If we ask him calmly if he's ok, he usually gets up and wipes himself off and goes back to doing whatever impossible thing he was trying to do in the first place...
Actually pretty relaxed with the first kid
Well, our twin boys don't arrive until this Fall, so I may have to follow up much later on this, but I can safely say in general we have been pretty relaxed with our first son, who is now 22 months old. Of course the first few months were a learning experience, but we quickly learned to not worry about him doing things like eating stuff of the floor, etc. We did have people wash their hands before handling him when he was newborn. We'll see if we are as careful about that with the twins. In general I think exposure to small amounts of dirt/germs is good for kids. It builds up their immune systems. And don't get me started on the widespread overuse of antibiotic soaps!
We also really try not to coddle our son too much, as we have seen some people do this and end up with very passive, fearful, and easy-to-upset toddlers. This took paying close attention to when he is crying, etc. and getting a read on what he really wanted or needed. Once he hit about 12-14 months he started doing "fake crying" where he was obviously testing the waters to see if he can get a response. For example when he was in his crib and wanted out (having trouble going to sleep). We found it was always best to give him 2-3 minutes to see if he really was that upset, or just annoyed (in which he calmed down and went to sleep). I really think this helped him start sleeping through the night at a pretty early age (6 months). Saw one of those parenting in real life shows years ago where the parents would go in and check on the kid every little peep he made, and what happened?: The kid was only sleeping 2-3 hours at a time when he was 2 years old (ack!!), and was conditioned by the parents behavior to do this. They brought in a sleep specialist, and his first recommendation was to wean the kid being rewarded for crying. It took about 2 weeks, and some long nights, but then the kid was sleeping all night long.
Of course some kids are more work than others, so this comes into play as well.
That list was hilarious BTW!
Absolutely!
As parents, both my wife and I are WAY more relaxed with our second one. It translates to the child as well. Our second daughter had alot of her milestones way before our first had hers.
It is all good...
I have 4 children (12, 6, 3, 1) and I agree with Harn. I have learned (been taught by them) that life is much more enjoyable for all if I relax a bit and realize that we can spend the time having fun or worrying...I don't like my 1 year old eating popcorn she finds under the couch but I don't loose my mind over it and call poison control either. My oldest does help me to realize the things I have done wrong with him so I can fix them with the younger ones, even though each is so unique that I have to constantly stay on my toes. What a blast!
OH YEAH!
Not relaxed in a bad way, but relaxed as a person, because I've been through it all before. My second is about to turn 4 and because of this relaxed nature... he's far beyond his brother.
I see this completely!
Hilarious. I have 2 girls.
Hilarious.
I have 2 girls. The first one was coddled to death. The second one learned to become a survivalist. It is very surprising how much "relaxed" my wife and I was with the second child.
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