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Good to Great in Being a Dad
Submitted by tony on June 20, 2008 - 10:39pm.
I don't know how this will sound, but I've been thinking about the difference between "good" dads and "great" dads. How would you differentiate the two? What makes a dad great? Is it a level of commitment? Is it a matter of having the right set of skills? Is it a matter of perspective (i.e. great dads know that their love for their wives is hugely important to being a great example to his kids)?
Don't take this the wrong way, but more and more, I believe there is a slew of good dads (including yours truly) that are just a few steps away for being great dads. I'm talking about true greatness. What'll it take to push us over the edge?
I believe becoming a great
I believe becoming a great dad encompasses a lot of things. You've got to be a good listener. Take their circumstance and apply it to your own life. How would you react to their situation and not how you would react to the situation. Show them unconditional love (everyday). Praise them (everyday). Reward them when they have done something which requires rewarding. Walk the talk and don't talk the walk. Become the priest of your home. Be their spiritual covering and guide them to the cross. Love their mother and always talk positively of her. Give them affection by hugging and kissing them (appropriately of course). Always make them feel secure even when your life may not be the securist. Eat together (at home). Pray together. Play together. Take them with you on the the things you like to do (doesn't have to be every time). Spend time with each kid individually. Protect them from obsenity and profanity. Let them know they can talk to you even if they have done something terribly wrong. Guide them in finance, wellness, and spiritual issues. Never spank them when you are angry. Most of all, always remember they are fragile and everything you say or do is imprinted in their brain forever.
well said
I couldn't have said it better myself: "Maybe in the end, it's as simple as striving to be a great man who always includes his kids in his pursuits." And in regards to the question that would surely come up (how do you become a great man?), maybe it's a continual, lifelong willingness to keep growing, keep learning, and keep on keeping on.
good or great
I think empathy is probably the most important trait a father can have. I think parents too often minimize their kids' emotions, and empathy goes a long way to helping a dad understand the frustrations of being a kid without comparing those frustrations to grown-up concerns. Compassion, reliability, mental and physical fitness, intellectual curiosity, and personal courage are all part of being a good dad.
As for being a great dad, I think it probably has to do with continuing to grow as a person and sharing new and diverse experiences with his kid(s). Being a role model is important, but I don't think that being a role model excludes letting your kid see you vulnerable or struggling every once in a while. Learning how to overcome adversity, or at least realizing that it's normal, is important. I think maintaining some sort of legacy for your kid is important, too. For me, it's taking my kids camping at the place where my dad took me camping.
It's a tough question. Maybe in the end, it's as simple as striving to be a great man who always includes his kids in his pursuits.
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