Join the conversation.
Members login here.
how has your outlook on life changed since becoming a dad?
Submitted by tony on April 23, 2008 - 8:19am.
I get some version of this question a lot from my expectant dad friends. I also seem to keep changing my answer as my tot grows up. What would you say?
Tages:
changing like you change underwear
yessir . . you change evryday or every other day . i have a three year old and 1 year old twins . all are boys . when my first was born all the stuff i did left days at a time till it was just me and him . i pucked up other things to do and here are the twins . . thats gone . now its just all of us . i dont want to anything really cause i scared im going to miss something . time is so precious . i feel so bad for the ones who dont have daddies . . love to them .
i've changed, too
I don't know if this sounds a little hokey/cheesey, but ever since our son was born, I feel like a new part of me has been "born." Yes, I've had to give up some free time, some freedom, and all that (I've had to sorta "die to myself" in some sense), but the new life as a dad is so worth it. I can relate to TwinCadets2030 on that one.
Secondarily, I've noticed that I've become more productive in all other areas in my life. Since I know I could be home playing with the little guy, I find myself trying to work smarter/harder with all the other responsibilities I've got. Getting things done well and swiftly, so that I can get home and enjoy these precious first few years of his life.
Changed for the better
Wow, those are some great posts from some great dads!
I recall holding my oldest daughter in my arms as her mom left the house for the first time after she was born. The walls breathed in and out, I got dizzy and sat down. It hit me that I was responsible for this tiny person, and would be for the rest of my life.
I began to grow up that day.
Trey
Drtrey3 Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Father of Four including 5 year old triplets
Leaving the childless in the dust
I went to my 10yr high school class reunion last fall and was simply dumbfounded by what I saw. My wife was thoroughly pregnant with our third and I drink about once a year. Here we are stone sober and we are surrounded by slobbering drunks. I know that they just were having what they thought of as a good time, but my thoughts were continuously with my son and daughter, and unborn son. It's almost as if the energy of my family becomes the voice of consciousness.
As harsh as it sounds, I truly feel that people without kids are missing out on a wealth of personal growth. Many of our friends are either still single, or have not yet bared children in their respective marriages. Some of them hold my wife and I on a pedestal with a sense of awe that we have successfully reproduced. I can hear it in their voices when we talk; there's just a longing jealousy that have. I can only think that they really need to enjoy the time without kids, because it will never be the same until that last one leaves for college.
I think the most amazing changes that happened to my wife and I are the physiological changes. It was most evident the birth of my first son. He could make the tiniest little peep and we should be awake in a heartbeat. Me, I was oblivious to how many times she would wake to nurse, readjust, or snuggle closer to our son. However, my subconscious apparently never sleeps. I could hear a pin drop on the other side of our house. There was one time, when our five month old puppy was harassing one of our cats. I was up yelling and running to the living room before I was even awake. I got out there to find the cat in the dogs mouth and both of them making noises I didn't think could come from such animals. I got back to bed and my wife only heard me yelling.....weird stuff.
Changed is an understatement
Changed is an understatement (or underword). My life has been turned up-side-down, puked on, peed on, pooped on, farted on, drooled on - you name the adjective and it will probably fit. My twin boys Ethan and Elijah were born 7 weeks ago and my life hasn't been the same since. I knew things would change, and that it was going to be hard, but I didn't expect the craziness that would ensue. Having twins makes dad step up a bit more in the initial phase of life. There is no way my wife could do it on her own. I admit that I was pretty sad after my boys were born for the first few weeks. I didn't adjust well and it was all a little overwhelming. I did't grow up with a dad in the house and had no idea how to be a dad. I was excited but not all the time. Now that I am adjust (sorta) - I see the joys of fatherhood shining through.
First, Having kids made me realize how selfish and depraved I am. Life didn't revolve around me and my wife anymore.
Second, having kids made me feel so much joy and fear at the same time. The thought is mind-numbing that I am in charge of raising these little guys and am responsible for them. Even though mind-numbing, what a joy it is to know that "Children are a blessing from the Lord." That I have been doubly blessed.
My outlook on life is total extreme excitement. I am so looking forward to the 'I love you's,' bear hugs, wrestling, camping trips, guys night out, man to man talks around a fire, getting excited about the little things in life again, and building forts. I am so excited and scared to death what the future holds. One thing is for sure -
Jer 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
How has my life changed?
My life has tremendously changed. As married man who has grown up without a father consistently being around, it's been liberating. I have 2 boys (23 months & 10 months) and I am currently at home with them and boy oh boy...I love it!!! To wake up with them everyday and to put them to sleep at night sometimes brings me to tears because of the bond that we have created. Last year I enrolled my 23 month old in a swimming class. Most people think "Oh, swimming? That's good for him to learn." But it's not about the swimming. It's about the trust. I want my boys to know that I am hear to protect and provide and to make everything alright. I take fatherhood very serious, almost to a fault. But I wouldn't change any of it for the world. I am constantly examining myself to make sure that my sons see me doing the right thing at all times. I make sure that they see me doing constructive and positive things. And I even had them accompany me to business meeings (which was amazing in itself because they sat and observed quietly and then raised caineafter the meeting). I don't know whether this answers the questions but I have to say that my life has change in the most positive manner I can think of. Be blessed.
Post new comment