Raising superbabies to go to the Ivy Leagues?
Submitted by tony on January 9, 2009 - 2:27pm.
Check out this article on how Chinese parents "train" their kids (from a very early age) to get into the Ivy Leagues. Here's a quote: "They put toys out of her grasp when she was a baby to make her work harder for them, timed the girl's studies to the minute as soon as she entered elementary school and made her do school work in the noisiest part of the house to develop her ability to concentrate." What do you think of this?
Parts of this hits a little too close to home, so I'm looking for some other perspectives. Obviously the laser focus on Ivy Leagues & academic performance (at the expense of all else) doesn't sit right with me, but am I just imposing my Western values on them?
Re: Raising superbabies to go to the Ivy Leagues?
sometimes in our culture, we just get way too caught up in just one thing. we start our kids off way too earlly in something and force them to do it all the way through. I just took my 3-yo kid to a local karate class for fun. Even though he loved it, we decided not to sign up because the MINIMUM package they were offering was 3x a week (for $100+ a month!). Geesh, he's only 3! maybe if he's 7 and he's truly interested in this (after trying a lot of other stuff), but come on!
Re: Raising superbabies to go to the Ivy Leagues?
Related to this topic, I saw this article in Fortune today - pretty funny, but also probably pretty on target - how NOT to get your kid into Harvard
Re: Raising superbabies to go to the Ivy Leagues?
There is nothing wrong with hoping and equipping your child with the dream of going to an Ivy League school. Frankly, chances of getting into one are so much slimmer if parents don't plant that seed and nurture it over time. But of course, there has to be a healthy balance. For example, I know its not unheard of in Asia for kids (even elementary age kids) to commit suicide for not achieving in school because they are ashamed or feel they have failed their parents.
On the flip side i knew a lot of kids whose parents put a lot of pressure on them growing up and they ended up completely rebellious and delinquent.
Re: Raising superbabies to go to the Ivy Leagues?
Teaching and raising one's children for excellence is a worthwhile goal I think, but there needs to be some thought put in to it. Raising kids to play the piano is a pretty good thing to my thinking,since it bears fruit throughout the kid's life. Sports is hit or miss... my brother and I were both excellent baseball players as kids, both of us on several all-star teams, but neither of us are big enough to play even semi-pro. The teamwork and health benefits were taught in other ways already. There may be intangibles I don't recall, though.
Being really good at something does seem worth doing, and pushing one's kids can be beneficial. My rule of thumb is to decide whether or not what I'm doing will psychologically damage or strengthen them. Excellence for it's own sake is pointless... skill that builds a foundation that supports mentally and physically strong kids... well, that's the whole point of being a dad.
Re: Raising superbabies to go to the Ivy Leagues?
I hadn't thought of those being related (getting into Ivys and playing h.s./college/pro sports), so that's a great perspective. I guess the question is what is "extreme?" We all want what's best for our kids, but do we really know what's best?
For example, I took piano lessons for 12 years growing up - I hated it for the first 10, but something clicked when I was 15, and now I can enjoy it for a lifetime and also pass it on to my kids. Good thing my parents pushed me along, even though I thought they were crazy sometimes.
Seems like a lot of parents (your truly included) are clouded by our own childhood experience, and we tend to overcompensate. Gotta find that balance of letting the kids explore various areas on their own, but also guiding/motivating them through times they want to quit.
Re: Raising superbabies to go to the Ivy Leagues?
It might seem a bit extreme, but we see the same kind of single-minded pursuit of goals by parents for their kids here too. Talk to any "stage mom" or baby beauty pagent mom and you'll see the same kind of all encompassing mind frame. Dads who push their children into sports are the same way; we have all heard the story of the dad tying his boy's right arm behind his back to force him to be left handed. My friend's dad made him repeat the 8th grade so he would be bigger for freshman football. . . .
It's easy to judge but look at the 5 year waiting list of elite daycare centers that are toted to set a child on the path towards the ivy league. Is it any different?
At the end of the day, parents world wide want the best for their kids. Unfortunately, pushing them to the extreme or imposing the parent's life goals onto them is quite common.
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