Parenting Politics
The other day I was with a group of parents talking about the endless possibilities of our children. We shared our hopes and fears and the mutual understanding that we would be happy and supportive no matter which path our children take in life. Then one women said under her breath "As long as he doesn't become a Republican."
I, a registered Democrat, was quite upset by this statement. I felt as if this women's child had lost some of his free will, that a decision had already been made, a mindset had already been made up.
Freedom of thought is what makes this country great, yet the freedom of our children's thoughts are greatly influenced by the adults in their lives. How do we, as parents, teach our children to be independent political thinkers, when they see us, as role models, express our political opinions? Is it a responsible act to have our children follow the same political schools of thought as we do, or is it robbing our children of their right to think freely? Ultimately, the best strategy would be to carefully present facts and ask impartial questions in an effort that our children gain their own opinions on politics, but how honestly can we do this if our opinions are leaning to the right or left?
I heard from an Obama-supporting mother that a women accosted her in the street regarding the fact that her 10-year-old daughter was wearing an Obama t-shirt. The women said something to the effect of "How can you make her wear that?" The mother quickly informed the woman that it was her daughter's decision to buy and wear the shirt.
What's a parent and political activist to do?
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Re: Parenting Politics
I think that often with both politics and with religion we (dangerously in my estimation) equate allowing a maturing youth to figure out what to believe themselves and trying not to influence it at all.
I take my daughter to church and try to live in front of her a decent and moral life, and some tell me I'm forcing my beliefs upon her; this is also true with the fact that my family are all vegetarians. I think that to go out of my way not to impart those beliefs and values upon my children would be dangerously negligent; to the other end, refusing love or support for her in general as she grows based upon her informed decisions to disagree would be disastrous as well.
I will always love her and she will know that it is not conditional, but I will absolutely teach her right and wrong and those will be based upon my beliefs.
Re: Parenting Politics
I agree that there is no way to not have your views influence your children. Both your spoken word and the way you lead your life. What also needs to happen is to model and encourage critical thinking, questions and discussion with a large dose of respect for your child's views and of course, unconditional love. .
Re: Parenting Politics
The key points I've instilled in my oldest son (soon to be 13) are to always keep asking questions (on things political), and follow the money -- find out who is paying for the ad, the program, the process, etc..
Also, I do not sugar coat one party or the other: while it can be easily said that radicals have tainted Party X, there are things worthy to be said of the big-2. Inversely, when pols in the party I support screw up, I am the first to point out the failure, so there's no illusion of our party our saints, there's are all fools.
I give some time to discuss the bigger minor parties but am quick to explain how they do play a small roll in the overall picture.
In time, he may switch to other side as I did in my high school years, but realized that the crowd may not always the best ideas.
http://whatsit2you.blogspot.com
Re: Parenting Politics
There is no way to avoid influencing your kids' political views. Part of being a parent is explaining how the world works and you can't do that without coloring your explanation with your own political views. Try explaining communism without editorializing. Even what aspects of the issue you include and omit from your impartial explanation will indicate how you feel. Do you mention that it failed? Do you offer excuses for it's failure? Do you say what a great guy Che Guevara was? Do you talk about Stalin's mass murders? Mao's disastrous policies towards dental hygiene?
Second, part of being a parent is imparting a solid moral foundation. What your moral code is, and how you choose to bend it, determines your stance on issues like abortion and gay marriage. If you teach your kids the 10 Commandments, you'll have to choose between "Thou shalt not kill", if you are a true pacifist, and "Thou shalt not murder", if you're okay with capital punishment, war or killing the guy who's trying to murder you.
Third, kids are aware of their parents actions as much as their words so by attending a protest, buying a handgun or even voting, you're letting your kids know where you stand on the issues. To raise your kids in a politically neutral home, you would have to keep your political activities as secret as your sex life.
Political views are like genetics, you can't help but pass them on but, like genetics, your kids won't turn out exactly like you. They will be influenced by real world experience and, once you let them out of the compound, commune or catholic school, they'll see how what they've been taught stacks up against what their experience. They'll probably ignore most of the facts that contradict their indoctrination but, with enough time, some reality will seep in.
So what's a parent to do? Freedom of thought is what makes this country great, not freedom from ingrained beliefs. Making another young Republican or junior Democrat is not the same as taking away the ability to think independently. As long as we give the next generation a variety of opinions, left, right, revolutionary, conservative, fringe and mainstream, the nation is still on course.
Re: Parenting Politics
this is a tough one! I think it's finding the balance between modeling to/teaching them what we believe while also encouraging them to think for themselves. We all probably want to "pass on" our values to our kids, and I think that's fair, and even part of my job as a parent. But honestly, if they haven't thought it through themselves, it's not really theirs, anyways.
So, hopefully, as my son grows up, I'm going to provide points and counterpoints for a lot of different issues. I'm going to tell a lot of stories about people from both sides of the aisle. There are some non-negotiables, like integrity, responsibility, generosity, etc, but other than that, explore away, my boy!
The key for me is the live out what I believe - to be consistent with my words and deeds.
oh, and besides politics, the bigger area for me is faith/spirituality. Does the same apply there, too?
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