thanks guys for the thoughtful comments! Honestly, I'm still thinking through what you've said (and I'm preparing for a big presentation at work for tomorrow!). I'll have more to say later, but for now:

I'm totally on the same page as ya'll - differences between humans come in all shapes and sizes. Culture is a big one, but so are personality and values. It gets complicated because culture, personality, and values are all related and somewhat linked together.

I guess my point in bringing up these topics is this desire to have my child know "where he came from," whatever that means. Also, I do hope some values do get through (like you said, being solid) and some sense of appreciation of his heritage. I've seen too many Chinese-Americans "abandon" what's good about being Chinese, while I've seen others stay isolated in their Chinese-American communities in America. How do you do "both/and" instead of "either/or"?